Everyone is moving at a fast pace these days. Everyone is really busy chasing deadlines. In the rush and madness of our professional lives, we have started treating personal relationships in a similar level to quite an extent. Thus, we tend to forget the basic necessities and jump straight to the “big’ questions.
In order to save you of any embarrassment or uneasiness or awkward silences, based on my personal experiences and of people around me, I am going to share with you all :- What NOT to ask in the first meeting!
1. How am I looking?
“I am worried about sweat stains in my armpits. You want me to look after you too?”
The person does not know you and vice versa. They will have no clue regarding the best way to answer such a question. Since there is no connect, diplomacy will scream from their face as well as attitude.
2. What is your salary?
“I work only for satisfaction. Not money.”
The first few meetings are to have a connect between 2 individuals. Just lay the ground-work before you ask such serious questions. Nobody is going to sit and give you an analysis of their bank statements unless you are in a serious, monogamous relationship or till he/she is comfortable enough to share financial details with you.
3. Why or how are you single?
“Ah…because I am not seeing anyone right now…”
Come on now! The person has come to meet you. They want to get an idea if they see a potential long term relationship. Focus on knowing the individual in a better way before getting into the intricacies of personal life and their past.
4. Where do you see yourself after 5 years?
“Not at another weird meeting like this one.”
What happened to how are you or general small talk. You are not sitting here to pass new amendments of the Constitution. Take it easy. Remember, question papers begin with 1mark questions and eventually move to 20. Thus, 1 little step at a time.
5. Do you have health insurance?
“No. I strongly believe in living on the edge!”
He/She may or may not have health insurance or rather any insurance.It is none of your business to ask in the first meeting.
6. Do you get screened on a regular basis for STDs’?
“Nope. I have a strong data plan. “
First, this may give a certain impression about your lifestyle. Secondly, the person was a stranger till 15mins ago, they won’t let you take a peek in your medical files or share juicy details or harrowing notes of physical issues.
“Only after you promise to sacrifice 3 goats and a mule.”
Don’t you think the person should know and like you before you jump the gun and reach the parents?
8. What kind of a wedding do you want?
“Had I known that, you think arranged marriage would have been a way to go?”
I understand that you may meet a person with the prospect of marriage. But why will you even bother to ask this question to someone you don’t know is interested in meeting again!!
[perfectpullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Also Read :- And how will you know that your love is right? [/perfectpullquote]
9. Are you a virgin?
“Yes, I am saving myself for the one.”
REMEMBER THIS – 1st meeting or 100th – NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. NEVER ASK THIS QUESTION. A girl’s character doesn’t lie in her hymen and a boy’s doesn’t lie in his penis. Virginity does not define a human being.
10. How many kids do you see yourself with?
“With my spouse or illegitimate children?”
Please refer question 8.
11. Do you think this relationship is heading somewhere?
“Yes, to an end!”
How can you even think of calling this a relationship? You barely know the human!!!
12. Do you want to talk about how you broke up with your ex?
“She scratched my car so I posted an ugly picture on Instagram”
ABORT MISSION. Do not get his/her ex into the picture. Why god! Why! Why would you do this!
Now I have shared these basic 12 questions with you. Keep them in mind and include few more that you may think need not be asked – specifically on the first or in the first few meetings.
Always focus on knowing the person genuinely. Give the relationship ample time to reach the next level at the right pace. For a relationship with a strong foundation – Trust & Patience are the keys. Value human relationships and do not treat them like a job.
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