Relationship – (noun) the way in which two or more people or things are connected or the state of being connected.
This is what we call the dictionary/Google version of relationship. Let’s dig deep in this state of connection, shall we?
Relationships like marriages, romance, and living together are something that every individual dreams of. To bask in its overflowing happiness, to build the foundation of trust, to hope for honesty in place of sugar coated lies, to seek loyalty to strengthen the bond, to keep practicing kindness and consistency keeping the bond from scattering in the days of darkness.
Relationships are lovely, yet fragile. To strengthen the bond one must appreciate the positive aspects and embrace the dark ones. A good relationship is a connection for life.
Connection – (noun) a relationship in which a person or thing is linked or associated to with something. Relationship is also a synonym of connection.
These link or association could be of various kinds –
- Blood connection
- Heart connection
- Soul mate connection
- Envy connection
- Work connection
And the list goes on. Because connections can be formed to almost every emotion known to this world and to its creatures whether living or non-living. So now we are quite aware of the cycle so formed –
Emotions–––> Connections–––> Relationships.
Long lasting relationships, are based on accepting open heartedly the dark side of our beloved ones, which is our main focus in this blog. Lets discuss few aspects which will help us in understanding the darkness that hides behind the curtains of relationship.
1. Embracing the Dark Side –
Relationship is just not about embracing the good sides of our beloved ones, because there is actually nothing to accept about. Good side is always cherry on the top.
It’s about embracing the madness and the darkest part of our dear ones that takes all of our light inside from us. It’s not about judging them but understanding where they are actually coming from.
It’s not about just loving their good looks but also cherishing their scars. Showering them with love, not just in the confines of room but openly in front of all.
Relationship takes a lot of work and years to build.
2. Baggage –
We all are aware of our emotions, that we drag on with us in our daily lives –
- Fear and anxiety
- Discouragement and despair
- Disappointment and frustration
And last but not the least ENVY, that somehow always resides in our hearts. These are the emotions that our baggage contains. The bigger the baggage, higher the percentile of emotions.
We meet numerous people in our lives, some stays with us for the short amount of time, some for the long haul. There could be various reasons as to why our paths crossed with them, maybe they came to teach us a lesson, to make us strong, to make us suffer or to remain with us till the end.
Just like us, they also carry their baggage with them. Sometimes the burden is just too heavy to keep dragging on, all by own, that’s when people asks for help, at times we are willing to help others and every so often not. And when we fail to help others, our heart fills with guilt, melancholy and sometimes regret.
What I want you to realize and know is, it is alright, if you chose yourself, if you couldn’t carry the baggage or you decided not to carry that baggage, because truth to be told, no matter how hard we try, it is not our duty to carry that affliction or lend our hand in helping carry it, as we are already carrying ours.
Even the “Ted Mosby” of “How I met your mother”, CBS Sitcom, S05E23, The Wedding Bride, gave us a remarkable saying “Everyone comes with a baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.”
So all we need to do is find someone who may not help us in carrying our stumbling blocks but love us enough to help it unpack.
3. 50-50% Hustle is a Myth –
Scrolling through my IG, I came through a post of 50-50% hustle between soul mates, being naïve it immediately became goals for me, not realizing, in reality it is hardly possible. It took me a while but soon I realized how that 50-50% befits the quote in quite a different way.
You see, the thing is, 50-50% is just an eligibility criteria to know if we are ready to hustle with someone for the rest of our lives. All we want to know is, if they are willing to walk those 50 miles that leads to us. Leaving the rest 50 miles up to us.
And isn’t that we all want our half work done without uttering a word. Feeling responsible for each other together, all of our feelings returned if not more, than in at least equal intensity.
Hence bringing the 50-50% equation in existence.
But truth is still far from what we see, there will be days where we have to walk 80 miles instead of 50, or the whole hundred miles while dragging our beloved ones along with ourselves. There will be days when our precious ones will need us and there will be days when we would need them.
So there is actually no 50-50% hustle, all there is efforts, love and understanding.
4. Envy –
Every other negative emotion harms your relationship, but this particular emotion destroys it. It is nonetheless a tricky emotion hard to deal with and even harder to get rid of it. Just like how kerosene fuels the fire leading to destruction, similarly envy plays its role in a relationship.
The only way to win this obstacle is by embracing it and not just to yourself but out in the open to your adored ones. It is difficult, indeed, but whoever said happiness comes easy. What’s worth it will always be difficult.
I still remember, while I was in school, I read an English chapter which quoted “Two negatives make a positive.” And life exactly forces us to do the same, cause it always keep repeating the lessons until we learn from them.
Relationship is bumpy and often thorny road leading back to happiness and wholesomeness. To ride out the dark times, it is important to acknowledge and accept mistakes and move on.