Yes, you read that right. Even he feels the pain. Just because he doesn’t show it, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel it. You call him an alcoholic, but he is a melancholic. He shares his pain to these numerous harmful addictions. Though temporarily, but they soothe his pain. They make him forget it for a while.
We females often cry out our pain, but he doesn’t. He acts to be strong, so that he can handle us. Or maybe he is so busy dealing with the problems that he doesn’t have the time to cry out his pain. Since his childhood he is taught that males don’t cry. ‘Mard ko kabhi dard nahi hota.’ Are kyu dard nai hota bhai?
[perfectpullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Also read:- A page from kavya’s love life. [/perfectpullquote]
Even he is a human being with emotions. And he needs to show them. We want him to show his love towards us, but how many times did we go and ask him to share his pain with us? How many times did we offer him our shoulder to cry out his pain? He may be our father, son, husband, friend, etc, if he lends you his shoulder, you too share his pain. But then, we only taught him that men don’t cry. As a kid whenever he cried the only thing we said to him was, “kya ladki ki tarah rota hai. Mard bann, mard!” And when you hammer the same thing again and again in one’s mind it fits in there, forever.
And then he suppresses his feelings and is left alone to die to under the burden of his pain, given the name of cardiac arrest. I think it is called such because the heart arrests his pain and cages him forever into it by freeing him from the world. And that’s the reason we mostly lose the most important males of our life to the heart. If we would have helped him with his pain, maybe he would be there to share our joys. The ratio of heart attacks in males is higher compared to the females.
In India, even today in most of the families, the male member is the bread earner of the family. So he is either treated as an ATM machine or a bodyguard to all our problems. For an emotional pain we go to our moms and for a financial trouble, to our fathers.
Though there are some who do share their pain and sob their pain out. While some take it out through paroxysm. But then we consider them as weak and vulnerable. So what do they do then?
I think it’s our time now to go and talk. Let us go to our dad and ask him about his worries. Let him talk about his tension be it related to work or other. Let us be a listener of his pain. We may not be able to have a solution to all their problems, but atleast we can share them. We can sit beside our brother and ask him to share his worries with us. Because the rakhi has to have a meaning. So what if we sisters tie it, and make him our protector.
[perfectpullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Also read:- Happy mother’s day.[/perfectpullquote]
Let us be his problem sharer. Because, it’s our duty, and our right on him. Let us share the stress of our husband and ask him out for a date again, to make him believe that no matter what, we are with them. And they can talk with us about every little thing that worries them. And we won’t judge them for it. Because, WE LOVE THEM! And these words will work as magic and set him free from all the worries.
Let’s make a fresh start.
Let’s make a difference.